Just the word
Christmas starts a lot of thoughts and feelings within most people. It often
presses the “Stress Button” within since it is “supposed” to be the fun and
healing time, but it more often tends to be the most stressful time of the
year. It can be traditions to be faithful to, being alone without family, other
people’s expectations and so much more. What is Christmas time for you? Today
it is family time for me, but before it was just a lot of stress. I was in a
rat race that I hated. But I found a solution. Here is my story:
When I was a kid
I remember the hectic race going from one relative to the other on Christmas
Eve. Some of them got annoyed because they thought we didn’t make the right
priority in which order to visit them. We were supposed to exchange gifts and taste
each other’s sweets. I never understood the fun in this – it was just a must
because of other people’s expectations – and I was so relieved in the evening
when we had our own Christmas evening – just for the closest family including
grandparents.
When I got my own
kids I decided I didn’t want to have them go through the same hassle. The first
four years we did though because we lived far away and had to stick to the
“family rules” when we went to visit. It was like travelling with a Circus
having two small kids and all the things needed for them – thick winter
clothes, diapers, strollers, toys etc. On top of all both were allergic to
gluten and one also to milk protein so we had this big bag of special food and
also a car-“refrigerator”. When we came back home after two weeks of that mess
I was exhausted. But I had no more days off so I had to go back to work. It was
a very hectic time.
Then a solution
showed up. 1993 I gave birth to one more girl and while pregnant with her we
bought our summer house. During that summer, pregnant and having two small
children already I realized that the next Christmas trip to the relatives would
be a disaster. I just could not see myself doing the same thing with 3 kids,
among them one relatively newborn. Our summer house is “winter proof” and can
accommodate a whole bunch of people.
So I came up
with, what I thought, a genius idea:
ALL our relatives
were told the same thing: We invite you all for Christmas, this Christmas and
every Christmas ahead as long as we own the summer house. Everyone is welcome,
just tell ahead. We also told them this is the only invitation you will ever
get for this. We will not keep asking every year – but you are always welcome
for Christmas.
Well, all
relatives didn’t like it as much. This meant that THEY had to get out of
their comfort zone and take action.
We have done this
ever since. The first couple of years we were 10-15 people (everyone had to
bring along some food to the meals we shared) and then it decreased. The latest
years we have mostly been just our family and maybe my sister and her son. The
grandparents are all gone.
Still today our
kids makes sure early in the fall that we will be in the summer house for
Christmas. That is the place where we all find the peace and where we all enjoy
the silent, slow life that gives good family time together. And of course, this
is the only place Santa Claus knows of.
So this year’s
Christmas will be our 22nd in the summer house. None of our girls live at home
anymore but they have ordered Christmas in the summer house this year too. For
real family time.
This is my story
how we created Christmas peace.
What is your
story or your best tip for Christmas peace? Please tell below. I love reading
your comments!
To your success –
and keep smiling!
About Author:
I am a medical doctor, specialized in family medicine and health promotion and strategies. I have been a medical doctor in the Public Health System in Sweden for 25 years. The last couple of years I have changed focus from disease to health and have specialized in health promotion, work assessment, systematic health environment and other business related issues to be able to get the whole picture for my clients.
For more information:
http://www.askdrannika.com